Holiday parks in Cornwall Mullion the Lizard Parkdean caravans Good?

Parkdean caravan park Mullion (now named Lizard Point) review!

Caravan holidays were fun and making memories for our kids, well for 3 trips, Looe, Mullion & Holywell bay…

It took some time for G to convince me to holiday in a tin can, but for 1 week 2 years ago we stayed at a Park Dean resorts site in Looe, Cornwall.

Ok, the weather was crap all week although for once we weren’t in a tent, but then there was the entertainment, Sid the seagull and Lizzy the lizard entertaining the kids in a safe friendly environment (but the beer was expensive!) every night we ran to the centre stage to watch an entertaining show where a Lizzard gets you up and dancing and a seagull sings about surfing, like in the popular Pat Sharp (and the lovely twins) funhouse game kids game show song from the 80’s & 90’s “its a whole lot of fun where prizes could be won”.

by the end of the night, I was sold on the entertainment, The Starland crew worked so hard all week with daily activities, afternoon clubs, and the tea time fun.

By the end of the holiday, we new the Starland crew and that meant I spent a fair few nights on the stage making a prat of my self but making sure the kids had fun and their memories lived on.

We then went to Mullion park and again we had a great time and the weather was fantastic all week, we booked for Holywell Bay, a smaller site where the bar doubles as the restaurant and the stage well let’s just say a matchbox and you can get very close and intermate with the site team.

The postman delivered the brochure and it fell to the floor like a shining feather floating slowly towards the doormat, before I had the chance to pick it up I had 4 screams of “Daddy can we go to park dean, please, please, please”

1 hour later I had booked!, yes I had been worn down by the screaming for the children who wanted to see Lizzy and Sid once again.

As we were running late in the booking (the wife likes to remind me she is last minute! )We checked out a couple of sites and caravans (and the very attractive presenter lady on Parkdean Promo videos who seems to spend her life living on Parkdean sites) and looking at availability we got it down to 2.

now we love the Lizard in Cornwall and have stayed at the Mullion resort so to save £200 we went with the dog friendly 3 bed sleeps 8 caravan (we were taking the mother in law as well for a treat).

My thoughts on the saving £200 were the bar charges over £4.50 a pint and £11 a bottle of (cheap) plonk

The mad rush of getting 4 children packed, us two packed and sorting the Dog and mother in law (plus a borrowed car from a dodgy used car salesman who sold us a pile of crap and our car was off the road again – but that’s another story) and car packed, with all the commotion neighbors new we were going away and my plan of leaving early meant we left 2 hours late.

We only live 2 hours from the Lizard and its a lovely drive, not this time, traffic, traffic & traffic, two caravans had rolled and a coach fire meant that the whole way we were rubbernecking with the rest of the country.

What made it worse was the “borrowed Shogun” cut out when overheating so a number of near misses on the way helped to keep our stress levels up.

When arriving at Parkdean Mullion we were already hot, tired, and all needing the loo plus stressed to the max from the journey.

like us, many guests were late so the Que was Epic, but we all in the queue couldn’t help notice two-families complaining very loudly about the state of there caravans, along with swapping these families out to different vans they were offered drinks and food tokens…I joked to the wife when I got the keys what I had witnessed…we had the map and went to find the van.

We pulled up and the kids went wild, before I could turn round and bellow out the family rules they were banging on the front door to get in to the caravan.

Our first impressions were not good, there was about 20 fag buts around the steps into the van and a bag of dog poo then when looking closer under the van we found empty crisp packets and crushed soft drinks cans, on entering a sticker informing us that it was not a dog-friendly van (which we had booked!) and the van although was tidy it had an odd smell and we soon realised due to the loo run that the blind in the bathroom was broken so we had no privacy! then Mum opened the boiler cupboard, (which had a big sticker on it which read “do not store anything in here” ) and the broom flew out had hit her…could it get any worse.

At this point, the wife was extremely upset by the state of the van, and we were all confused by the “no dogs in the van sign” so I went up to reception to see if we could pay for an upgrade because we just wanted it to be right for us and that it was Mums (MIL) first caravan holiday without Dad (For 30 years they caravan-ed in Poole for their holiday and sadly he had passed on a few years previously).

After queuing again as more late guests were turning up, I read the posters which said up upgrade!!! (subject to availability) and due to the state of the caravan we were happy to pay the extra to get a caravan worth paying for and to make the holiday special for “G” and Mum, I would have paid!.

Like the comedy Little Britain, the receptionist typed away and the computer said No!, “sorry” she said, “may have something in a couple of days”…. being polite and not wanting to be known as the twat screaming and shouting like the family’s I had witnessed when booking in I went back to the caravan with the bad news.

AS we were now super late our plan was to eat dinner quickly so the kids could see the entertainment, so we got the cooker on… well we tried but the gas gun was out of … gas!, I ran up to reception to get a refill then …. the pies were in the oven …. well they would have been if we had a tin opener (good old fashioned frys bentos dinner!!) I ran back up to reception to get a tin opener, now the pies were on and now even later than ever we got the cutlery and the plates ….. well we would of if we had had some, ok to be fair we had just enough for a party of 3 let alone 7, so I went back up to reception to ask for more cutlery and plates!.

By now the customer service Girl was joking with me “what is it this time” and not trying to get mad with her I explained we did not have enough plates or cutlery….housekeeping was called again.

45 minutes later housekeeping turned up with a load of plates and cutlery and we were able to eat but missed the first part of the kid’s entertainment!.

As we were on holiday and extremely late we let the kids stay up later than normal, they got to see some entertainment (not passed 10 pm!) as we felt that it might knock them out and we would get better sleep.

It was dark outside when we left the entertainment zone and the bright lights and music of the arcade disappeared when we reached our caravan, When we entered the van the hall light did not work “Great!” then we found the bathroom light didn’t work as well ……. even better!!.

With the kids crashing out our next job started, It was ASBO’s birthday on Sunday so after putting up banners (and finding rubbish above the curtains so then having to do a full top-level clean) and getting presents ready and at 1 am when we finally decided that we had done enough cleaning of this caravan and unpacking our bags (plus another bottle of plonk) we found Tiddle had fallen asleep on our bed, I said I would sleep on the sofa bed so the kids could sleep.

Whilst I tried unpacking the very stiff sofa bed “G” went to get me the covers…

Well “G” came back before I could crowbar the bed out, she came back with “there is a bottom sheet only!” ….. FFS were the words muttering from my mouth, OK it says just “ring security if you need anything late at night“…. this is The Lizard Cornwall there is no phone reception anywhere (the beauty of the place) could I be bothered to walk yet again another 800 meters to complain and disturb the security teams chatting up the 16-year-old half-dressed girls and the fruit machine widows. No, I just slept on the sofa with my sheet.

The sound of seagulls (heron Gulls) walking on a caravan at 6.am is such a welcome sound…the day could only get better!!! Shit, it was ASBO’s birthday! well after a night sleeping on the sofa with a sheet and my jacket (2 ft wide bench seat as I couldn’t get the sofa bed out!) what could go wrong today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! yes, it was birthday time ASBO was now 7!! and he wanted a full English breakfast and the challenge was on…..first the tin opener the reception team had supplied broke and then after a very ‘open to the world shower’ due to the broken blind (no chain and did not turn) “G” found the hairdryer did not work….. yet again I found my self walking up to reception for a new tin opener, more bedding and asking for a new hairdryer.

We opted for boiled eggs and toast… and bedding turned up about an hour later, also a man knocked on the door shoved a bran new boxed hairdryer in my hand and walked off.

The rain came like a Caribbean storm and we got stuck in the van for most of the day (although it sounded like a machine gun hitting the roof!) but it was ASBO’s birthday so we made good, party food, and games and We did get to the on-site swimming pool for some fun but ended up wetter walking to and from the pool than the swim its self and we did get out for an hour to the local supermarket (with every other family from the park) and joined the fight in the entertainment aisle with other parents to get children’s DVD’s. as not much else to do when the area is looking like a scene from the film Waterworld.

Being stuck in the van so long got us looking around, it was damp, cold and the windows steamed up like a Turkish bathhouse, we then saw the state of the CO2 wired in detectors, both were a dirty gold colour and sticky when inspecting them the filter part (I’m guessing as I am not a gas engineer) were clogged up with gunk so I got a wipe and started to clean them.

After wiping I found that they were white in colour, not gold, and to my shock, they were out of date, by 3 years! I walked back up to reception again but the customer service girl was having to deal with another upset family (of 6) who had found there van also in an unfit state, demanding to see the site manager, who was otherwise entertaining another family’s complaint!.

Once again I explained what I had found and asked the reception team to check if the CO2 detectors were safe and had a gas safety check been carried out the boiler recently, they said they would get on to there maintenance team for me as they didn’t know where to look for the information.

On my return I found a maintenance man fixing the window curtain, and the two bulbs but at that point, he had not had the call regarding the CO2 detectors so asked him anyway if they were Ok, he didn’t know anything about them or where to get the information.

Mum for the second night slept badly, something was not right with her bed, when pulling the bed apart we found a broken child’s coat hanger had been tucked under the mattress protector, what next?.

“G” came out of the bathroom (in her towel) at the same time another maintenance man turned up (he nearly got an eye full) with a shop-bought battery CO2 alarm as no one from the site new anything regarding the workings of these detectors, as he fitted it as he said “better safe than sorry as CO2 is known as the silent killer”, 30 minutes later he went and we had a new addition to the ceiling.

Now you couldn’t make this up as by lunchtime we had run out of gas! off I trotted back up to reception to inform them, once again the same customer service team sinking under there desks had to deal with yet another issue with my caravan.

30 minutes later yet another maintenance man arrived to change the gas, he found that we did have gas but the cooker knobs and oven fittings were so full of grease and grime that they were blocking the gas coming out! hence the oven stopped working and the problems with the ho, he got to work cleaning the cooker.

The remanding 4 days passed without any more problems but we did witness a member of staff coughing up a lot by the reception and kids play area, which in the most parts that doesn’t bother me too much, but its the fact he spat out what he coughed up by the building in full view of the guests there and walked off with a A-board.

This also was mentioned to the reception team who apologised but laugh it off.

Our week had ended and what was suppose to be a fun family time ended be a week of problems and getting to know the maintenance and housekeeping teams.

When handing in my key the receptionist jokingly asked if we were going to complain to there Head Office, yes I said and got handed a filled up sheet of paper with other guests complaints on, which I added ours, at no point did she explain the Parkdean complaints procedure (which if she had I would not be writing this blog now) I walked away and then had the long drive home with a problem car, tired children and angry parents.

Part 2 of Park (Mean) Dean out shortly, its the what happen next and why I am still fighting for my money back.