“Children’s Beach Party”

Sounds great, buy a hot tub, get a few friends around, beer, wine, cracking tunes, Happy dayzzz, well not when the party is for your 11 years old!.

I could set the scene, a hot summer evening, as the sun goes down over the sea and the sweet smell of red hot charcoal sizzling burgers and sausages on the BBQ, the warm air drying your hair after a day of surfing and the bass rocking the decking from the music of chilled Ibiza.

In reality, I got woken at silly o’clock by ASBO tapping at my forehead and asking if I was awake, “yes ASBO if I wasn’t, I am now, THANKS!”,I had a grump on, mainly due to a heavy head, I had one because of the strong wine we were tasting the night before.

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To be honest, it was handy he woke me up as today was Squashes Beach party.

The previous day I had set up the hot tub in the garden and turned it on ready for the 12 hours to warm it up to 40C, I had cleaned, it prepped it, decorated the Awning it was housed in (This was February and bloody cold) and all looking good.

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The problem was the wine tasting took over.

We had arranged that Grandma would look after Tiddly & ASBO as we couldn’t trust ASBO doing something silly in front of Squashes mates, and Tiddly only 5 so not really a party for her.

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ASBO found out the plan, and then at bedtime, it became more like a Picket Line at Dagganham Ford back in the ’60s, ASBO tried desperately to chain himself to his shelving unit, protesting the was not going to grandmas.

The cry’s of “I’m not going to Grandmas!” could be heard 10 miles away in Exeter, luckily the Trade union rep had done her job (ok Mummy) ASBO settled down and I opened a bottle of Jam shed Shiraz, and then another, I then found my self waking up on the sofa and forgot to check the tub! as it was 1 am (and why didn’t Gin wake me up!).

At 7.30 am I went to see if I could get a cheeky dip (one because my head had turned into a full-on hangover and 2. because I couldn’t face ASBO screaming that he wanted to say for the party), but I found a Tub at 9c and only turned on and not the heating part.

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Suddenly my body temperature rose and the worries hit me, I would be having 11 children around (and yet another stupid idea, we said we would have the darlings for 5 1/2 hours!) and no hot tub!.

I told Gin … silence … I waited … She is the one who will always level me, and help me think outside the box … I waited …”ok leave it for 2 hours and see where we get to” then the big idea, we would change the day plan so the tub was last on the list, and fill the tub with warm water from the hot tap!.

Grandma turned up for ASBO and Tiddly, it was approx 10.30 am, then followed an hour battle whilst trying to cook party food for the masses and warm a hot (cold) tub, ASBO was ready, he was armed with a catapult, lego bits and had handcuffed himself to the office chair.

At one point we thought we need to call for the riot police, but we quickly pounced on him, breaking the plastic handcuffs, and then the 3 of us carried him out the door (he weighs a tonne!) we got him out!. all down the street you could hear the screams of “I don’t want to go”, “Grandma’s house is boring” “let me go” Silly really as we gave the both of them £5 to spend on tat.

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At 12.30 the guests started to arrive, this was great, the one-party we wanted people to be late! (but as we had given free babysitting service for 5 1/2 hours who wouldn’t be early!), all ready to jump into the hot (cold) tub but we had a plan, firstly, the 30 minutes of waffle with the kids, each T.V. in the house had surfing movies and we had music blasted out of Alexa and Google, then the sad news….” sorry kids the Hot tub is not ready yet” but that was ok, We were able to feed the kids on the go, all-day.

The second plan (and this was the winner), Nerf free for all!, the kids teamed up and for 4 hours they took turns having nerf wars around our house whilst I kept filling the pool up with warm water.

The amazing thing here is that nothing of ours got broken! 11 kids screaming and running around my house shooting each other, they were firing hard end nerf bullets, and yes a couple of the kids had a few bruises but great fun.

Finally, we had a hot tub at 3 pm!, we then became holiday camp lifeguards, Gin and I took turns making sure the kids were safe and because I deserved it, (due to my Cork Up ) I let the kids soak me, not once but twice (thankfully I was in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt), but it still was bloody cold!.

With food, movies, Nerf wars, flowery necklaces and soaking the hosts Dad, all went well and the sun started to go down and the parents started to arrive ask if all ok, well… yes, but never again will I host a 5 1/2 hour party !(well not unless it’s in the pub!)

To finish tho, all of Squashes mates were fantastic, they are a credit to their Mums and Dad’s, It was great to spend so much time with them all and Get to know them, the cheeky ones, fun ones, don’t stop ones, shy ones, smiling ones, I could go on.

With 4 children it’s hard to build relationships with the parents let alone the kids, we have 30 kids per class and 3 classes in a year, If you work out the maths that’s a hell of a lot of parents and children! and A lot of names for the teaching staff to know.

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